True words from my heart I

Cried beside my mother, discussing about my course. I knew this will happened to me one day. Yes, I broke down again. Some probably already knew about me when I joke a lots and talks a lot which is rare for me to do so is actually not a good thing. Told my mum that I no longer can hold this anymore. Yes, I had few friends compare to the others; hundreds or millions. Couples are helping each other, friends with friends are helping each other. All I did was begging my friends. Shame on me. It's like begging people to teach you when people doesn't even have the mood to do so. I was destined not to have lots of friend. I admit that. I came from a not-so-rich background. It's only an illusion for them to see the surface of what they think of me. I have this on my mind that if I stopped studying, the money will go to my sis which she can get into sunway college, a BETTER college for BETTER FUTURE than me. Daddy and mummy told me not to stress over this little thing afraid that I'll commit suicide. They understand me a lot better than the others, I'm not an optimist. I admit that. I have been crying since primary to high school and now college. They knew me too well that I can't hide anything from them. I hate my friends. When you're good, they will come to you. When you're bad, they will leave you aside. Just like economy subject we learned from school, the rich will continue to be rich and the poor will remained poor. Same goes to friends. Mum once said in chinese that "they beat, they split, whatever-they-did, we don't attack" That's the fact. Soh Ling, it has been awhile since we last met. I really wanna talk to you- a lot. I'm a little envious of my friends which they had their friends ready and comfort them. I'm all by myself. But I'm used to it. First, I myself isn't happy with my classmate. Secondly, my skill and idea. It's uncountable. It's a fact that I'm a slow learner. You can't change that.

Flutee Sheet

I wanted someone to play this for me. KIKI! borrow me your flute! i wanna practice this song! T_T Joking. I will buy one when I'm rich.

Designer is a lonely job

I used to watch you from the back. Did you realised that we have not talked in awhile? full of awkwardness since my class started. sigh. I learned not to reveal my feelings even though 'cold' words came from their mouth. I realised there's no need for others to understand us because I can understnad myself much better than the others. Much more, I was silenlty and secretly in love with someone. Ever since I realised such thing will never exist, I gave up.

I'm willing...

I wanted everyone to be happy. I really wanted everyone to be happy. God, even if there's a need to take my life away, I'm willing to give it away. I don't want to go through this problem while I'm doing assignment. I can't go through harsh times all the times, everyday! Even if I need to die now, I'm willing to give it all away. God bless them.

figure warm up

Gonna continue this when i'm free